Adolescent conversations developmentally take on a competitive, combative, defensive and zero sum character because they haven't yet cultivated more adult mindsets like collaborative co-creation of mutually satisfying realities. Adult conversations require a whole different kind of developmental intelligence.
The good news is that people in organizations and communities can learn together how to have more adult conversations about anything. One of the required competencies is to actually know what we don't know. This is the basis of all manner of listening that is the basis for trust that is the basis of actually being smarter together.