Feedback to others doesn’t need to be delivering our sincere or manipulative judgements, assessments or observations, especially when they shut down openness to learning through confidence depleting defensiveness or inflated self-esteem.
We can deliver feedback simply by expressing what we want to see possible. It is expressed in the positive and feels to people like a fairly to mostly realistic ask. We show interest in how our ask could in any way be a concern to them. And we offer to help make it as easy as possible, unless we edit our ask to be more accommodating.